ChildLine : Coming Out Stories

In the third of my posts on the NSPCC, child protection charity, I looked at Coming Out Stories, involving three females and one male.  Callum is a gay male. One of the females identifies as assexual , one bisexual and , despite watching this, and transcribing it, I still don’t know what the final girl identifies as. 😳. This is a video about coming out and , as far as I can tell, Maja didn’t actually come out as anything!  What was noticeable was, out of the three females, not one came out as Lesbian. 

Here is a link to the youtube https://youtu.be/wzw6rGDMqX0

Here is a transcript: ChildLine Coming Out stories Transcription

First question is directed at Calum. He is given, by far, the most air time in this piece. He was aware of his sexuality at a young age and began talking about it, age 8. He soon realised his class mates were not receptive and retreated back into the closet until his early teens. When he did come out, to his parents, they had a hard time accepting it. Calum is thoughtful about his parents attitude and offers a generous interpretation of his parents attitude Whether or not his assessment is overly kind they did get over their misgivings and, thankfully, all is resolved with his family.

Next up is Amelia. Amelia is assexual. She explains that she didn’t realise this until other teenagers started talking about sex. At first, she claims, she thought they were just talking about sex because adults and people on the television were talking about it. When the penny dropped that they actually wanted to have sex she realised her identity. There’s a lot of giggling at this revelation. I am sceptical whether a teenage girl could be so naive about sexual desire but ,as they say, this is her, self-proclaimed, “lived experience”.

Next up is Jenny. She came out as bisexual by casually dropping it into conversation with friends and family. The response, she says is basically “cool”. Only later, when the interviewer, Declan, probed for more negative reactions does she reveal less positive reception. Not abuse, just querying her claim to be a bisexual, whilst in a relationship with a heterosexual male. There’s a bit of baffled incomprehension that people can be so ignorant and Jenny, cue laughter, explains

Next up is Maja. Her experience was that her family never assumed she was straight so she never really needed to come out. If you watch the whole thing you will find that she never actually comes out, in this video, either.

The really positive thing about this video is that all seem to have had relatively easy times coming out (or not) to friends and family. Coming out, as not being into sex p, is a new one for sexual orientations. I suspect most parents would be sanguine about an assexual teenage daughter. It’s unlikely to be high on a list of fears for their daughters, Most of us likely expect a change of heart but that’s another matter.

Another notable feature of the interview is the need to elicit reports of negative reaction. Amelia, the assexual, does urge caution in coming out, in case of abuse or enforced homelessness. I don’t dismiss the vulnerability of sexual minorities to parental rejection, particularly those from some religious homes. I am not sure, however, there are any faiths which would cast you out for being assexual. However I remain concerned that the same may not be true for homosexual teens. Amelias listed the groups vulnerable to prejudice, when coming out, and included trans but didn’t reference Lesbians. Is it only Lesbian love which is the love that dare not speak its name?

Sexual Fluidity.

Maja proffers. another explanation for the lack of an explicit coming out. #SexualFluidity. This is a new narrative, which conforms to Gender Identity Ideology, that sexual orientation is not fixed. On one level letting young women have time to embrace their sexuality seems uncontentious but it does sit uneasily when Lesbians and, to a lesser extent, gay males are being told their, exclusive, Genital preferences are prejudiced and can be overcome.

This interpretation of sexual orientation is further elaborated by Calum who shares a tale which also claims sexual orientation is not fixed. There is debate about the origins of sexuality , nature v nurture etc. However Gay Rights Activists gained protected status on the basis their sexual orientation was not simply a (lifestyle) choice. 👇

Overall I am left with more than a vague unease that no Lesbians figure in these coming out stories. There also seems to be a worrying lack of confidence to claim an incontrovertible same sex orientation.

Stop Press 

Further to publishing this article I have been informed that the Calum, featured here, is a YouTuber in his own account. Notorious for faking this homophobic attack covered in this article https://attitude.co.uk/article/british-youtube-star-calum-mcswiggan-hospitalised-following-suspected-homophobic-attack/11201/

He was subsequently discovered to have made a false allegation https://www.washingtonblade.com/2016/06/29/police-say-gay-youtuber-faked-hate-crime/

I also had a look at his YouTube account and found some more interesting content https://youtu.be/ur46Kx8V7XA

Calum apologises for associating Men with Penises and Woman with Vaginas. He warns his audience that if you express disgust at vaginas you never know if the Gay Man next to you has a vagina. He further assures his audience that he would include them in his dating pool.

.He also weighed in on the recent, manufactured, controversy after JK Rowling stated some basic facts about biology and same sex attraction.

We need a new Gay Liberation Front. One unashamed to defend same sex orientation. Hence LGB Alliance.