Part four on the book written by Dr Ann Lawrence, a self-proclaimed, autogynephilic “transsexual” male. Lawrence felt there were too few reliable narratives about autogynephilia and set about reaching out to men, with this condition, via his web-site. In the previous section Lawrence repeatedly warns AGP men are often unreliable narrators. He believes the stories he was told were more accurate because they were talking to a fellow sufferer and because he knew how to screen out obvious fake narratives. He was particularly prone to believe accounts which did not follow the script and had not been sanitised for public consumption.

Methodology

Lawrence provided his subjects with the opportunity to contact him anonymously. He received 229 testimonials which met the criteria for inclusion as follows: They were required to meet at least two of the following.

Trans-Narratives

I don’t thinks we can 100% believe the narratives we are told but the more shaming admissions may be accorded some validity. Lawrence calls this ”reluctant testimony”. Some of the men express relief about finally having somewhere to be honest about their proclivities even though more than one was horrified to be engaging in acts they called ”perverted”. Sadly, one effect of meeting up, even virtually, with other AGP men seems to be normalising the idea of women as pornographic muses for men’s erotic fantasies about us. Reading these narratives it is abundantly clear they are embodying their deeply sexist idea of what it means to be a woman.

Forced Feminisation

This comes up frequently. What these men are saying is that they cannot think of anything more humiliating than to be forced into being (treated as) a woman; who is naturally designed, in their warped mindset, for the submissive role. One talks about taping his genitals up so that he is ”forced” to sit to pee. The accounts bellow are very explicit 👇 on their forced feminisation fetish but one admits he lies to his therapist; an admission made by multiple other respondents.

One respondent categorily stated that, if they are honest, most transsexuals have these fantasies.

Rape fantasy

Autogynephilic transsexuals are heterosexuals but this does not mean having sex with other men is not a feature of their fantasy, or real, life. Some of this is what I think of as ”validation” sex , where the man is a prop to validation the AGP’s female persona. Some of them add a layer of humiliation by making it non-consensual. This makes them feel more authentic as woman, let that sink in.

Here one talks about fantasising about being gang raped, as a woman, by many men.

Woman as ”victim”

This excerpt is from a Master’s Thesis in which a man talks about how being involved on the fetish scene, as a ”submissive”, helped cement his identity as a ”woman”. After one brutal experience, where his ”safe” word was ignored, he opined that the experience validated him as a woman. {No, sunshine this just shows you are a man who does not see women as fully human}.

Just one of the ”girls”

Some of the men deemphasise the sexual component but insult women in different ways by deploying the most regressive, sexist, stereotypes always calling themselves ”girl” even when many are middle-aged blokes. Here is a classic of the genre: Somebody has watched Grease a few too many times. 😳

Man are also participating, without their consent, as the narrators get an extra thrill trying to hid their erections, when a man refers to them as Ma’am or treats them with chivalry. They want to be women (oops ”girls”) from the 1950’s.

Men = Logical. Women = emotional

Many of these men actually admit they are not women trapped in men’s bodies. Many of them are in, stereotypically, hyper-masculine occupations and are keen to point out how competitive and successful they are. This respondent talks about his masculine versus his “feminine” side in language that implies men do the thinking and females are all about feelings.

There are a lot of other quotes covering rooting through your female relatives/partners underwear, stealing and wearing sanitary pads all as aids to w**king. Many of them are open about getting erections or aroused in the women’s toilets or changing rooms. Sexual fantasies about becoming pregnant or breast feeding recur. Some get off on going shopping or having a manicure. Are there no sexist, reductive stereotypes, about women, these men won’t fetishise? Embarking on relationships with actual females sometimes induces a temporary halt to the fetish and a ”purging” of female attire. It soon returns. It has all the hallmarks of addiction and, rather than normalising this, and seeing it as a victimless crime, they should be made to confront the real harm they are doing to women’s, sex based, rights.

Why autogynephiles lie.

Of course there is an incentive to lie to therapists or anyone in a position to ”gatekeep” access to treatments. However, it is also verboten to admit these fantasies to other ”transsexuals”.

Lawrence speculates that this may be why some gender therapists claim not to have seen any/many autogynephiles.

Some of the respondents felt that Lawrence was doing a disservice to the ”trans” community by exposing the dark underbelly of their community.

“People are starting to see us as something other than freaks” Exposing autogynephilia may ”screw that up”.

At the heart of this paraphilia is deception

Women (and men) cannot be allowed to see the truth. Some are open at the deception they practice. Carefully curating their image so women let their guard down. Here is one example.

Men will sometimes claim that all they get from wearing female clothes is a feeling of ”relaxation”. This is to obscure their real , sexual, motivation and encourage women to feel sympathy for a man who is, perhaps, taking a break from living in a stressful male role. Blanchard was not happy to collude with this deceit.

Conclusion.

There is a lot more to be gleaned from these accounts. In particular it may be worth returning to Lawrence’s insistence that boys as young as three are experiencing sexual fantasies. This seems to be dangerous territory.

I just want to conclude with a couple of statements, by Lawrence, who appeals to men to present themselves as akin to natal women as they can. Adding, if this gives you an erotic thrill, so much the better.

Superficially his advice for male “transsexuals”, to exercise some humility about their relationship to ”natal women”, could look like empathy but it is really advice to his undercover brothers about how best to exploit women’s support. Imagine living with a man who studies you, and relies on you to educate him to better emulate your behaviour, while simultaneously destroying your sex-based rights. (See accounts from Transwidows, for how creepy this behaviour is). This is not symbiosis its parasitical.

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