Category: Parents of “trans” kids. Series 2

Parents of ”trans kids” Part 13

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Family /Friends Conflict

This is a series on the parents of children the parents believe are “transgender”. The research was sponsored by, among others, Oxford University and on the steering group were representatives of Mermaids. You can find the series on healthtalk.org. You can find the rest of this series here:

Parents of ”trans kids”: Series 2

This post will cover two parts of the website that deal with family conflict.

Family and Friends reactions were covered here:

Family and Friends

and here:

Parental disagreement

Many parents report that family and friends have been supportive even though not all of them fully understand the situation. Some still worry that acceptance is only on the surface and people may react differently in private. One parent talks of using inheritance money to pay for private treatment. A few, like Lesley report mixed reactions and ”mis-gendering”

What is interesting is that Lesley’s daughter is on irreversible medications but she can still talk about her reaction as typical of a teenager who finds the grandparents very frustrating. This suggests she think her daughter still has a way to go before she is able to respond in a mature fashion.

Ross and Lisa are not on the same page as their ex partners. In Ross’s case the mother of his child does not agree with medical transition for her daughter. Lisa’s partner was a step-parent and his lack of acceptance led to the end of their relationship.

Lisa laid down the law in no uncertain terms for her partner. He clearly failed to comply with these demands.

More than one parent talks of how siblings were the first to get pronouns correct which they think is a good sign. I think it shows how indoctrination happens quickly. However this brother is clearly struggling to come to terms with his big sister’s ”transition” .

One parents talks about how siblings get sidelined as all the attention is focused on the special child. Here a young girl talks about feeling like an extra in her brother’s show:

Mel talks about her mother’s reaction which was to blame what was happening on the mental health of the biological mother of the step-child. Siblings are issued instructions not to speak negatively about the situation outside of the family. Another parent makes it clear the grandparents will be cut out of their lives if they do not go along with this.👇

After that ultimatum, unsurprisingly the grandparents have got on board the trans train:

Leigh, who is medically transitioning a foster child has lost contact with her sister and other foster carers. Foster children are statistically over-represented at Gender Clinics and Leigh, without a shred of self-awareness, has this to say about losing friends in the foster community:

Parental disagreement.

I cannot imagine being a mum watching your ex-husband encourage your daughter to medicalise the stress of puberty. She will know what puberty is like for a teenage girl. Ross will have no idea. The mum’s opposition managed to avert puberty blockers but her relationship with her daughter suffered. Georgina has red flags all over her in the way she is managing her daughter’s situation. The very next day, after her daughter ”came out” she changed her name and pronouns at school, and made an appointment with a doctor for referral to GIDS. She did all of this without even telling the Dad! Georgina is worried he may interfere to stop medical treatment: Here she is annoyed he wants to check parental consent forms.

Ross seems a bit over-invested in his role as parental favourite. His daughter’s relationship with her mum has been negatively impacted by her refusal to go along with her daughter’s self-harm.

One day we will see detransitioners emerge from these kids. I wonder how many parent relationships will survive once these kids realise what they have given up?

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Parents of ”transkids” Part 12

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“Gender Affirming Surgery”

Here parents talk about surgery for their kids. For those of you assuming this relates to genital surgeries the parents use this for other procedures such as FFS (Facial Feminisation Surgery) or double mastectomies, euphemistically labelled ”top surgery”.

This is part 12 of a series looking at a research project sponsored by Oxford University, amongst others. Mermaids, the controversial lobby group for ”trans” children, was also involved.

You can access the project at healthtalk.org. Here is the link to the page covering surgeries.

Gender Affirming Surgery

Here Richard is speaking about his son having surgery to remove his male genitals. For Richard this is not ”elective” surgery, it is “needed”. There are few people who openly admit to regretting this surgery and there is a cloak of silence on post-operative complications.

This is some research after follow-up for 189 patients from one year to five years. This looks like a high complication rate to me. 👇

Worth noting that a ”neo-vagina will require dilating for the rest of your life. This is because your body will be trying to heal a ”surgical wound” Here is the initial, recommended dilation schedule by one surgeon.

It is not for the faint-hearted. Failure to dilate can cause closure /collapse and will require revision surgeries.

These are the procedures a female may choose:

These are procedures for a male:

In the U.K most of these procedures are available on the NHS. Though not the phalloplasty (penis construction) because of the high rate of complications. Gender is a surgical construct. All so you can be your ”authentic self”.

Two parents talk about their daughter’s double mastectomy.

One parent had paid for facial feminisation surgery for her son. There is a casual reference to the loss of sight in one eye. We are not told if this was only temporary:

Four hours of surgery!

One parent’s son had genital surgery after waiting five months. They were not happy with the post-operative care. They found out the nurse was taking a holiday and not available after the operation.

Her son ended up in accident and emergency and relying on inexperienced medical staff.

What is striking is how normalised this is for these parents. Here one talks about her foster daughter only wanting a double mastectomy, ovary removal and a hysterectomy. All described as routine.

They typically research among other trans people and talk in terms of excitement.

The language of bodily autonomy recurs on this topic which, I would argue, is a deliberate framing to echo narratives around reproductive choice.

Here a parent talks approvingly about someone who identified as non-binary who is excited about finding a lump in her breast because she might get quicker access to a double mastectomy:

All of which reminds me of these narcissistic tweets. I bet your mum is proud. 😳

This one is furious that cancer patients are “queue jumping”

Only Elijah expressed any misgivings.

Next I will look at parents who have had familial conflict over this issue, where family members do not agree with the medical interventions their children /grandchildren are having.

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Parents of “trans” kids. Part 11. Suicide & Self-Harm

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This is part 11 of a series on parents who believe their child is ”transgender”. It was funded by, amongst others, Oxford University and is hosted on healthtalk.org. Mermaids lobby group were involved. You can access this on healthtalk’s website, here, 👇

Suicide and Self-Harm

You can read the rest of the series on this page:

Parents of ”trans kids”: Series 2

This post focuses on parents talking about their strategies to deal with their children exhibiting suicidal ideation. For any parents who are dealing with this, for their own child, it is a terrifying prospect. To set your mind at rest please read my piece on suicide statistics in this demographic. They are no more likely to attempt suicide than any other group suffering from mental health issues.

Suicide in the Trans Community

Support forums for children/teenagers identifying as “transgender” encourage the threat of suicide to blackmail parents into medical “affirmation”. Most of the data out there is based on self-reported ”attempts”. There is a problem with suicide in those who have undergone medical ”transition” and I will cover that research shortly.

First up the author’s quote Stonewall. This is never a good sign.

I think we would have noticed if 84% of trans-identified people made serious attempts to end their own lives, however, this research is punctuated with accounts from parents who feel the medical treatment, accessed by their children, was life-saving /suicide averting.

This is what Stonewall say about suicide on their website today: They claim a 27% figure for attempted suicide and 89% have thought about it. 👇

Here is Michael Biggs on the issue of suicide. I will cover his paper on here because he is an excellent source:

Here Biggs quotes Norman Spack. He runs a clinic in Boston for children who are proclaimed as ”transgender”

I wonder if the only way you can justify these dractic measures is by inflating the risk of inaction? Here is Ross warning parents that self-harm can escalate.

No wonder these parents are terrified to practice ”watch and wait”.

Below Ali shares that her daughter was already under the care of CAMHS for mental health issues. They felt under pressure to “sort” things our in a twelve week programme, at this stage her son had not declared a “transgender” identity.

Next Ali talks about figuring out that ”gender identity” may be one of the issue and how hard it was to access support.

Ali felt the support from school was counterproductive. She referred her son to mental health services but he attempted suicide during the Christmas period.

Finally her son explains that the issue is his gender identity. Ali realises that what they need is a referral to GIDs. At this point she claims that mental health services cut them adrift.

One of the other parents does not think all her daughter’s issues should be assumed to relate to the ”trans” identity. Ross points out that, for his daughter, bullying at school and a bad relationship with her mother impacted his daughter. Bullying figures in the background of a lot of these kids. Some of this is homophobic bullying, known to generate issues with “gender identity” confusion. Research here:

Peer bullying

I can identify with the fear of suicide for our children. What does not help is the endless propaganda and inflated risk peddled about our kids. Sadly Ross is not reassuring these parents. He is amplifying their fear.

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Parents of ”trans” kids. Managing Gender Dysphoria. Part 9.

Part 9 of a series looking at a project funded by, amongst others, Oxford University and hosted on the website healthtalk.org. In this episode they look at how the parents ameliorate their child’s struggle with a belief they are ”transgender”.

You can access the website here:

Managing “Gender Dysphoria”

This parent is worried that her child does not have ”Gender Dysphoria” but nevertheless she believes her child is ”trans”. GIDs are counselling her to follow ”watch and wait” , which used to be the standard approach because most children resolve feelings of bodily incongruence after going through a natural puberty. The mum is worried her child is not distressed enough about their body. 😳

Here is a check list of strategies for females which include breast binding, contraceptive pills to prevent menstruation and using a prosthetic penis.

Bear in mind this is a website dedicated to health care. Here are some of the side effects from breast binding:

The site openly promotes double mastectomy for teenage girls.

Georgina’s daughter has been defined as ”transgender” since she was four years old and wondered when she could get her ”boy’s bum”. In fact phalloplasty is not available on the NHS and it is a notoriously difficult surgery with high complications rates and poor results.

Not all the parents are so casual about surgeries and hormones. Some want society to be more accepting of “girls” with deep voices and different types (male) bodies. She is not happy with GIDs exploring whether her son can reconcile to his biological sex. She considers that harmful and thinks GIDs are hamstrung by their ”cisnormative” values.

This parent reflects on the high rates of depression and anxiety in the cohort of trans-identifying children they know. 👇

Apart from the casual acknowledgement of high rates of “depression” in ”trans” teens this parent shares their daughter’s inability to tolerate using the phone because of her female voice and fear of mis-gendering. Never mind testosterone will sort that out. One of the, irreversible, effects for which they are signing their daughter up.

Here Georgina makes it clear she knows how to construct questions to elicit the desired response from her child. The therapist is not asking the right questions. 😳

She has even used checklists so her child can select desired sex characteristics like a pick and mix! Her daughter is clearly giving different answers to a therapist than to her mum. I hope the therapist is picking up on that because the researchers seem oblivious to all the red flags!

Here a mum worries about how her son will be around her biological sister. Will he resent his sister? I am starting to see more siblings appearing to talk about the impact on them. (One girl spoke about feeling like an ”extra” in her ”sister’s” show).

Mermaids is the main point of reference for these parents. Here Lesley is not happy with the mental health services who discouraged her daughter from using a binder; while an in-patient for some sort of mental health issue.

Here the daughter is adamant she is not ”trans” but the mum is pushing the idea of binding.

Again the daughter is not pushing for medical intervention but is nevertheless now on the contraceptive pill.

Here a foster mum laments that a girl in her care has the genes of her mum and larger breasts than her foster parent. She anticipated they will be surgically removed. This mum has been ostracised by other foster parents who worry about the social contagion effects if their children mixing with a ”transgender” child.

Foster kids are at a higher risk of adopting a ”transgender” identity. The Tavistock report a 4.8% of foster kids in their referrals, compared to 0.58% in the wider population. I covered research on this issue in my series on foster kids. This is the one looking at Tavistock’s own research.

Gender Dysphoria: Looked after Children. Part 3. U.K. GIDS

Lesley’s daughter is using binders and packing a prosthetic penis which is of an unrealistic size for a teenage “boy”. Lesley finds that hilarious.

Jan’s son is struggling with male-pattern baldness and was very keen on facial feminisation surgery. The family paid for this privately. Later on we will find out he lost sight in one eye as a consequence. It is not made clear if this was temporary. Note they call it ”gender affirming” surgery.

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Parents of ”trans” kids. Part 8: Cross-Sex Hormones

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Parents talk about cross-sex hormones. This is described as ”gender affirming” treatment. Once again puberty blockers are described as a temporary interruption of puberty and it ”is considered reversible”. This is not true. There are known impacts on bone density and IQ levels. So much more is unknown. Even if this claim was not false, 98% progress to cross sex hormones. Administering puberty blockers makes a medically dependent pathway almost inevitable. What is more PBs + CSH will mean these teenagers are sterile. Not infertile. Sterile. We are doing this on the NHS.

These are some of the causative factors of Gender Dysphoria.

Note one of those causes is having a parent with munchausens by proxy. What is striking about these parents is the high percentage of mother’s who believe they have a transgender child.

Some parents feel that the NHS is too conservative in its prescribing policy for people with a transgender identity. In this series some draw an analogy to Hormone Replacement Therapy in women.

In HRT for women the hormones are a ”replacement” for those that are depleted after menopause. Even then women are warned of an elevated risk of breast cancer after one year on HRT.

For males the hormones used are not naturally occurring, at the levels prescribed. They will also have an increased level of ”breast” cancer. Males have also been found to have seven times the risk of developing multiple sclerosis.

Multiple Sclerosis Risk

Here a parent complains about the tightrope they walk in demonstrating the mental health consequences of being denied cross-sex hormones but not presenting as so unstable it raises issues of competence. This mum also complains that her son is expected to present in a stereotypically ”feminine” way to access treatment.

Here a parent is confident that their daughter is ”rock solid” in their wish to access testosterone, he recognises that this is a ”big decision”.

Lisa expresses her concern about her daughter’s fertility. She wants to find a way to preserve her fertility so that she can become pregnant in the future.

She is clearly frustrated at the attempt to extract some assurances from the hospital. Her daughter seems unclear about the link between menstruating and pregnancy. The fact that they are asking whether a pregnant body would make them look “feminine” is illustrative of the magical thinking of these confused kids. She is, however, right that testosterone impacts females much quicker than female hormones do on males.

The prioritisation of aesthetics over reality. 👇

The physical changes cement the seeming permanence of the decision making as beard growth, deepening voice lead to more social affirmation and increased use of male pronouns. The voice changes will be permanent and facial hair can only be dealth with by electrolysis, at this point.

Once again, Oonagh, talks about the impact on fertility as a possibility even though her child has had puberty blockers, followed by cross-sex hormones. This is no longer a ”possibility” but a certainty. All of this calls into question the notion of ”informed consent”.

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“Trans” kids 7: Private Health Care

Parents experiences with Private Providers

The main reason for accessing private healthcare was the long waiting times to access NHS Care. Some of the parents accessed private providers in response to these waiting times and are dismayed when the NHS won’t take over the care.

For some they access private health care because the procedure desired is not available on the NHS. One of the parents, Jan, paid for her son’s facial feminisation surgery for that reason. Others, like Andrew and Lesley, below, feel any delay may result in catastrophic mental health issues and even a premature death; which I am assuming is a reference to the fear of suicide.

The parents feel desperately that their children need to be on hormone blockers and one parent considered going as far afield as Boston. (I am assuming she means Norman Spack’s clinic which is the one accessed by Susie Green, of Mermaids).

One parent paid a private provider because GIDS protocol is that cross-sex hormones are not available for under 16’s. She did not think she could make her daughter wait that long for testosterone. Her daughter had her puberty blocked at 13. She thinks making her child wait until she is 18 would be the act of a really ”awful parent”. She is certain her daughter will not change her mind. The last sentence appears to show some level of awareness that her daughter may regret this in her thirties which suggests she is not as certain as she stated.

She elaborates on her decision and is aware that she will be criticised for going against NHS protocols and even labelled a child abuser, however her daughter is very mature.

Lesley talks about the shared care arrangements for her child and her fear of suicide if she delayed acting.

A mother and father also raise the spectre of suicide which prompted them to go private. {Threatening suicide is something on-line forums recommend as a strategy to trans-identifying youth}.

Ross believes threatening to go private helped him get care on the NHS:

Things were not always plain sailing. Lesley’s daughter was an in-patient in a mental health facility who clearly had misgivings about the testosterone. They were also not impressed with the independent provider which is hardly surprising given that detransitioners have described them as the wild west of transgender medicine.

Here a couple describe the blockers as a ”puberty pause” which is yet more misinformation.

Here parents found the GIDs service unable to reach a diagnosis so opted to go private.

The parents robustly defend their decision as they are ”educated people” and know the risks. They seem to prize her being able to look how she wanted and not have to worry about the perceptions of other people.

Leigh expresses the view that the private sector acted too fast but, in any case, her daughter could not access this as she was in foster care. Interestingly Kate talks of wanting an ”impartial assessment” which perhaps shows some awareness of the financial motives of private providers.

In summary parents who put their children on puberty blockers are heavily identified with having a transgender child. For males the impact on male genitalia (stunted growth) makes it almost unthinkable for your son to detransition. The impact of male puberty is terrifying to these parents so they are very anxious to access cross-sex hormones. I am going to wager that private providers are more amenable to ”affirming” care given the financial incentive. Additionally this section of the research is yet more evidence of co-morbidities of mental health issues.

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Parents of ”trans” kids. Part 6

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Reflections on experiences with GP’s.

Here a parent describes her experience with her GP. He immediately referred them to the Gender Identity Service at which point she discovered the lengthy waiting lists. {For the record I think the waiting lists are too long to get help. I just don’t think GIDs provides the right kind of help. Parents would be better provided with therapeutic interventions who do not centre being ”transgender” but offer a holistic approach. We need to explore the root cause of the distress}.

The parent’s reflections on their experiences with their GPs is very similar, in tone, to the parents I covered in series one. Parents have already ”socially transitioned” their children and all have accepted, bar one, that their child is really the opposite “gender”. Having already invested in this narrative it is clearly jarring for a doctor to express any skepticism or, indeed, caution.

Unsurprisingly the parent, above, had done her research and knew their was an option for GPs to prescribe ”bridging” hormones while the child awaits an appointment. For the GP this means there has been no ”specialist” input and some GPs are understandably reluctant to prescribe puberty blockers /cross-sex hormones. The G.M.C allows an exemption for those doctors, which the parent calls a ”get out clause”.

The parents tend to be fully informed of treatment options via parent forums, or, as we saw in earlier posts via, lobby group, Mermaids. This reaction is not untypical. 👇. Disbelief, anger, and letters of complaint follow:

This parent sought another practice that was ”transgender” friendly but hit the same problem and even contacted her M.P. Finally she contacted an on-line supplier.

There is a note of panic in these parents which is to be expected when they have socially transitioned their child and the realities of puberty begin to set in. This 👇 is an account of a young male whose hair was beginning to recede. To her, this makes the situation urgent. Finally she decides to return to the GP and insists on giving her a presentation to ”educate” her, she tells us that she tried to be reasonable in her tone. Really? 👇 I would not want to see what ”unreasonable” looks like.

It did not end there. The mother wrote to advise the practice of all the letters she was sending to complain about their service. She also raised the issue of females getting hormone replacement therapy to add to the perception they were discriminating against “transgender” youth. The surgery finally capitulated, providing an endocrinologist issued the prescription.

Another parent had a much more positive experience, having done prior research with Mermaids. She issued this advice ”do your research and find out if a ”transphobe” is running the surgery”. A father found his surgery very good but was unhappy about the way the forms referenced ”male” and ”female”. He recommends the use of ”Mx” because the health service will know to look out for any unusual symptoms you would not expect. In part this is because the children/youth are registered as the opposite sex. The fact that the medical profession is colluding with this practice astounds me, but they are!

Georgina knew what to do if the GP failed to comply with her demands. 😳

Georgina’s GP was acceptable because she was willing to ”educate herself” and was assumed to ne willing to work with private providers.
Another parent was able to bypass the GP because, unbelievably, the school is allowed to refer the pupil.

Some GPs provided someone to administer the injections and even offered home visits.

Another common complaint is the lack of training on transgender medicine. Mermaids, as ever, are there to offer advice to help resolve any issues with a non-compliant GP.

Parents felt there were a number of barriers to getting the care they demanded. Some they ascribed to prejudice about ”trans” people, some to ignorance or lack of funding. One parent was refused blood tests for her son because he was using hormones from a private provider, she took the fight to social media. Another parent was critical of the GMC guidelines and felt they should be more prescriptive. That is, she believes there should be no clause that allows a GP to decline to practice ”transgender medicine”. I would imagine some doctors simply feel out of their depth but others may decline as a matter of conscience.

Lisa thought her GP was condescending and dismissive

This GP would only refer to mental health services as he felt a specialist should diagnose any issue. He seems to have been quite clued up about the medication and no doubt this informed his reluctance to refer to GIDs. Nevertheless a complaint was made and the referral made.

The parents take any form of safeguarding, as an affront and unnecessarily gatekeeping. Some practices provided three monthly blood tests but others refused because the parents were using private providers. This report, from another parent, explained how she felt the doctor was ridiculing her.

My perception from reading these accounts is that the parents feel they are the experts on their child’s care. They have adopted the medical approach, as advocated by trans lobby groups; most of their research is likely from pro-transgender sources. Because they have ”socially transitioned” their children the onset of puberty is to be feared and blocking it takes on a sense of urgency. I cannot imagine seeing your son express doubts when he has been left with a micro-penis because of puberty blockers. Bear in mind, also, some of these children have been living in ”stealth mode”. From the parent’s perspective they must be allowed to prevent any changes which will betray their sex and prevent ”passing”. The child must ”pass” and nothing must raise the spectre that the parent has made a mistake. Not one parent even raised the issue of detransitioners. The thought would be horrific to contemplate if you had enabled an early medical transition. It is this context which I believe makes these interactions, with GPs, so fraught.

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Parents of ”trans kids”: Puberty Blockers. Part 5

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This is part six of a series looking at parents who all, bar one, believe they have a “transgender” child. Details of the funding are in part one. Oxford University is one sponsor. Mermaids are an advisor. Link to the series is here:

Parents of “Trans” kids: Series 2

This research is published on a website called healthtalk.org. You can find the link to this section here: 👇

Parents views on Puberty Blockers

What you will not find on the page about puberty blockers are the detailed, critical comments of one of the parents “Elijah”. This matters because anyone accessing this page will not see a parent detailing why he opposes puberty blockers or cross sex hormones, for under 18’s. I will insert his comments, in full, at the end.

Note that the web-site uses opposite sex pronouns throughout. I will not be doing so.

First up is repetition of the lie that puberty blockers merely ”pause” puberty and are reversible. The NHS, eventually, had to revise their guidance to explain that we are not clear of all the impacts of using puberty blockers. Sex hormones play a crucial role in brain maturation which continues to around the age of 25. Some known impacts, of puberty blockers, are lowering of IQ scores and negative impact on bone density.

It is also worth noting that some leading figures at WPATH have broken ranks, to sound a note of caution, over their use. You can read about this here:

Sloppy Care

Here is a clip from that piece. Taken from an interview with Abigail Shrier, author of Irreversible Damage.

Yes, you read that correctly “permanent sexual dysfunction”

Richard shares his thought processes about blocking puberty for his son.

Here he talks about the importance of timing of the intervention in relation to penis size. This is because the standard method of creating what is called a ”neo-vagina” which requires sufficient ”material” to invert for the surgery. {Anyone familiar with the poster child for puberty blockers, Jazz Jennings, will be familiar with the surgicalcomplications that followed because of his micro penis}. We start puberty blockers as young as age 10 in the U.K. It is estimated a penis reaches adult size between the ages of 18 and 21. The main pre-occupation in starting puberty blockers seems to be aesthetic, for males. For females early interventions seem less desirable, even adopting a ”trans-narrative” stance since they will stunt growth. Given that testosterone packs one hell of a punch on female bodies, even if taken later, it seems counter-intuitive to push early intervention in females, for reasons of ”passing”.

The parents all seem to believe they are simply giving their children time to think without the pressure of pubertal development. Unfortunately many clinicians believe it is the process of puberty that may resolve ”gender identity issues”. Blocking puberty may also be denying these children/teens any chance of a life without medical dependence. Also worth pointing out, to these parents, that at least 98% proceed to take cross sex hormones which suggests they don’t provide space for exploration but commence them on an irreversible trajectory.

One argument put forward for blocking puberty is to stop breast growth and thus avoid an unnecessary double mastectomy. Breast growth typically starts between the ages of 9-11 but it is not unusual for growth to start earlier. Here Georgina makes that argument. It is worth noting that many, maybe most, teenage girls struggle with their developing breasts and feeling “down” is not rare.

Oonagh is the one who introduces the idea to her son, who is pre-pubertal. Leigh is very certain that her son won’t change his mind but again peddles the myth that they merely provide “breathing space”. As I said earlier, at least 98% will progress to cross-sex hormones and will be sterile. Not infertile. Sterile. Children as young as 10 are taking this step, in the U.K, it is even earlier in the United States. Oonagh’s son seems unable to even utter the words ”penis” or ”testicles” using language which suggests a lack of maturity.

Here there is a short section on the consent process. Both parent and child signal their agreement to this process. This child has accessed blockers less than a year since “coming out”. 👇

The parents are, in this way, made complicit with the process. In an earlier piece I covered a Tavistock employee who explained why family involvement was important, from the perspective of the clinic. This is Dr. Aiden Kelly speaking publicly about why they involve parents in decisions about puberty blockers. Its because they don’t ”know” which ones will benefit, with any certainty.

Here Dr Kelly also admits they just do not have the evidence base and points out we don’t have any long term follow up.

You can read my full piece on Dr Kelly here:

Dr Adrian Kelly

Here is Leigh talking about her foster daughter, Now on hormone blockers. She describes the process for accessing them ”surprisingly smooth”. Later we will learn that the Social Worker colluded with this decision.

Ali is not happy at the amount of time it took to get her son on blockers.

Richard had some concerns about puberty blockers and the lack of long term data, his son, however, has now been approved to take them. He hopes the increase in “transgender” children will lead to more research. {Call me old-fashioned but should we not have the research before we massively increase the young people we medicate?}.

Elijah thinks the administration of puberty blockers is based on “bad science”. {Where’s Ben Goldacre when you need him?}?

Conversely, Mel felt the NHS were not ”trans-positive” enough. She feels the psychologists take a too questioning approach. Mel, however, is finding it necessary to develop strategies to cooe with the side-effects of the hormones.

I will leave you with Elijah’s critique of hormone blockers.

If you want to read more on puberty blockers, I did a series. You can access this here:

Puberty Blockers

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Parents of ”trans” kids. Part 4

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Getting a referral to GIDs.

In this post I cover the parent’s thoughts on referrals to Gender Clinics. What is striking is the various ways children can be referred to the national, NHS, Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS) also referred to as the Tavistock.

You can access the rest of the series here, if you want to go through them in order: 👇

Parents of ”trans kids”: Series 2

I am particularly concerned at the presence of “educational professionals” on this list. I am not, however, surprised because so many of the Transgender Guidance packs also imply, or state, that teachers can be involved in referrals. This is not appropriate.

Some of the parents found the referral process quite easy but some encountered difficulties which are, variously, ascribed to ignorance, or prejudice on the part of the health professionals or other agency. Most were referred by the mental health services for children and adolescents (CAMHS). Many of the children were not originally referred to CAMHS because of gender identity issues, meaning they had pre-existing mental health issues.

Here Lesley explains that she felt her child’s issue was gender identity and why she instigated the referral to GIDs. Her daughter was struggling with self-harm and suicide ideation. Another parent had the idea suggested by the psychiatrist who was of the view ”the gender stuff was a big issue“. 👇

Parents were often very proactive in ensuring their child had a referral. Here the persistence paid off and, after a few questions and a bit of paperwork they achieved the desired outcome; referral to GIDs.

Not all parents had such a prompt referral and some were redirected to their own GP. Ali also complains that CAMHS then abandoned them after they were referred to GIDs, thus cutting off mental health support and, presumably, reducing the numbers on CAMHS books. I concur with Ali that a shortage of funds may have driven that decision.

Unfortunately this left a vaccuum and Ali’s child sought on-line support. Ali does not elaborate about the sources, or nature, of that on-line support.

Mermaids

Here is Georgina, who you may remember made a doctor’s appointment the very next day her daughter “came out”, she tells us how she immediately joined a support group on line. There she learned to get Mermaids involved in the event of any lack of GP Compliance. Note that description a ”non-compliant” GP.

She needn’t have worried the GP was co-operative. He did not query anything but he did caution her to tell the father, of the child he was referring to a gender clinic. Georgina had made a tick list of all the things she needed to do and telling the father “was the last person on this…list” . Even then the father was painted as a potential obstacle not an interested party.

Another parent reported that their GP said he had not encountered the issue before and asked them to come back when he had done some research. He soon got back in touch and acquiesced to the referral.

Lisa reported a less positive reception from her GP who insisted, quite rightly, on referring them to mental health services. She felt her GP was dismissive and didn’t listen to her.

However, Lisa did not take no for an answer and persevered. She provides a bit more information, below. She considered the GP ”uneducated” but because they ”knew their rights” he was coerced into making the referral. 😳

Another parent was similarly dismissive of the GP’s knowledge so she sought also sought advice from, controversial, lobby group, Mermaids. Clearly he would have preferred it to be taken to a panel for a decision.

This parent was also quite scathing about what she saw as a lack of knowledge from an experienced, and senior, GP. Personally, I wonder if he knows rather too much?

Another parent was prepared to go on the offensive to make sure she obtained the necessary referral. Once again Mermaids were called upon to get involved. Turns out GiDS are accepting referrals from a trans lobby group!

How times have changed?

This is going to be quite a lengthy series to give you some insight into the world of parents of ”trans kids”. How did we allow it to get so our of hand?

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Parents of “trans” kids. Part 3

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Social Transition:

In the introduction we are told ”social transition” can mean a change of name, pronoun, coming out at school and a visit to a GP, to get a referral to a gender clinic. It is important not to assume ”social transition” is harmless. There are a number of consequences to socially presenting as the opposite sex. Let me cover two. Firstly, if you look at the first series I did on parents of “trans kids”, it is clear the vast, vast, majority were also taking medical steps or at least getting on waiting lists. Secondly, concretising an ”identity” at such a young age forecloses options and may help cement something that otherwise would have may been transitory. This same ideology claims to believe in ”gender fluidity” but then treats children as if their “gender identity” is immutable. This is just one of the, many, central contradictions in the ideological framework underpinning transgender ideology.

There are also psychological consequences for the child who is presenting one way but dealing with a body of the opposite sex to the one they are presenting. To get a psychologist’s view on this, I recommend this piece on Transgender Trend website, on the dangers of social transition.

Dangers of social transition

Here is a clip from the article, written by a psychologist.

“Coming out” stories.

This quote from one of the parents in this research project is worth reproducing in full. This is a mum with a plan of action which she is putting into motion immediately. 👇. The mum claims to know nothing about ”transgender”children but she barely takes a breath before she has a plan of action.

She is doing all this before she tells the child’s father! She admits she had done no research and she did not even know if she was doing the right thing. By the very next day the teachers were calling her by a new name and a doctor’s appointment had been made!

The website then provides guidance on changing a legal name and then quotes another parent who has taken this step, against the advice of the Gender Clinic, who counselled caution. 👇

We then hear from a father who has a nineteen year old daughter about to start testosterone. We are told their journey began at age 13. {The website includes an aside her to remind us that “medical transition” does not necessarily follow from “social transition” but, as you will see, it is a rare parent who questions the wisdom of these, irreversible, medical steps.

This parent explains why she dislikes of parental acceptance for her ”transgender” child. On the contrary, it should be described as not rejecting her “daughter”.

She goes on to explain how they had resisted the entreaties of their son, but eventually, capitulated because it was all their son would talk about. At this point they had already spoken to a gender clinic and, it appears they were on the waiting. When they agreed to use a female name and pronouns it brought an end to a very stressful period, punctuated by bouts of crying.

Next we hear from a foster parent who claims she was the one slowing things down.

She claims the process was slow and she always left the door open for a change of heart. At the same time, when she is interviewed, she says she knows in her heart her ”son” won’t go back; ”He would never have fitted. He was never female”.

Next we meet Mel, a step mum, who explains her, and the child’s father, were the last to know about his son. They were concerned there may have been some collusion by the child’s mother and if her mental health issues played a role. The ”transition” also felt very rushed. 👇

Living in stealth.

The word stealth is derived from old English and the word ”steal”: “to carry off clandestinely without right or leave“

The next section covers the issue of lying about your sex. The author’s explain this is a personal choice, people have the right to conceal their sex, this is justified because ”trans” people face rejection and discrimination. It is worth pointing out that this is NOT merely a personal choice, it has societal ramifications. We tend to use the term discrimination only in negative contexts but being discriminating is also ”to choose wisely”. There are also some legitimate areas of discrimination, protected in law, such as the right to exclude males from single sex spaces. What the author’s are ignoring is the impact from the presence of stealth males, in female spaces. This is a violation of the boundaries of women and girls and shows a complete disregard for issues of consent. #MeToo anyone?

Here is Lisa talking about her child’s decision to withhold information from their classmates. None of the parents seem to even consider whether this is ethical. Lisa seems more concerned that she is not able to express her pride in having a ”transgender” kid in public. 👇

Kate says her ”son” will go stealth “if he can get away with it”. Quite apart from the betrayal of trust I cannot imagine the stress on the child, from fear of discovery. I would also point out that a female example provokes a very different reaction to a stealth male. I fear for a stealth female in male spaces. The opposite is true when this is a biological male using female spaces, in stealth mode. The consequences are vastly different when the sex is male and the spaces are female.

Below a parent tells the story of her stealth son; who would not let her tell the truth to his school. Her perspective is entirely from her son’s perspective. She wants him to be out, proud and accepted. No concern for the girls who think they are dealing with another female. The mum is, however, concerned that she may have betrayed her son by, covertly, asking advice from the school. Sounds as if the school tacitly agreed that this fraud could be perpetrated against their female pupils.

The above quote touches on another issue. How many of this generation began by performing their ”gender” in an on-line setting? I have seen more than one detransitioner talk about how cos-play in on-line environments cemented the idea life would be easier as the opposite sex. I covered a paper looking at therapeutic approaches to resolving gender dysphoria and the, female, client was using male avatars in on line interactions. She pointed out how much more respect she garnered as a “man”. One of the strategies deployed, in her therapy, was to find a strong female avatar and role play as her own sex. With that and other therapeutic work she desisted. You can read that case here:

Therapeutic Interventions to resolve Gender Dysphoria

I will finish this section with a quote from the Transgender Trend article, quoted above.

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Researching Gender Identity Ideology and it’s impact on women’s rights and gay rights. Also looking at the medical scandal that is “transitioning” children.

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