Parents of “trans” kids. Part 3

Social Transition:

In the introduction we are told ”social transition” can mean a change of name, pronoun, coming out at school and a visit to a GP, to get a referral to a gender clinic. It is important not to assume ”social transition” is harmless. There are a number of consequences to socially presenting as the opposite sex. Let me cover two. Firstly, if you look at the first series I did on parents of “trans kids”, it is clear the vast, vast, majority were also taking medical steps or at least getting on waiting lists. Secondly, concretising an ”identity” at such a young age forecloses options and may help cement something that otherwise would have may been transitory. This same ideology claims to believe in ”gender fluidity” but then treats children as if their “gender identity” is immutable. This is just one of the, many, central contradictions in the ideological framework underpinning transgender ideology.

There are also psychological consequences for the child who is presenting one way but dealing with a body of the opposite sex to the one they are presenting. To get a psychologist’s view on this, I recommend this piece on Transgender Trend website, on the dangers of social transition.

Dangers of social transition

Here is a clip from the article, written by a psychologist.

“Coming out” stories.

This quote from one of the parents in this research project is worth reproducing in full. This is a mum with a plan of action which she is putting into motion immediately. 👇. The mum claims to know nothing about ”transgender”children but she barely takes a breath before she has a plan of action.

She is doing all this before she tells the child’s father! She admits she had done no research and she did not even know if she was doing the right thing. By the very next day the teachers were calling her by a new name and a doctor’s appointment had been made!

The website then provides guidance on changing a legal name and then quotes another parent who has taken this step, against the advice of the Gender Clinic, who counselled caution. 👇

We then hear from a father who has a nineteen year old daughter about to start testosterone. We are told their journey began at age 13. {The website includes an aside her to remind us that “medical transition” does not necessarily follow from “social transition” but, as you will see, it is a rare parent who questions the wisdom of these, irreversible, medical steps.

This parent explains why she dislikes of parental acceptance for her ”transgender” child. On the contrary, it should be described as not rejecting her “daughter”.

She goes on to explain how they had resisted the entreaties of their son, but eventually, capitulated because it was all their son would talk about. At this point they had already spoken to a gender clinic and, it appears they were on the waiting. When they agreed to use a female name and pronouns it brought an end to a very stressful period, punctuated by bouts of crying.

Next we hear from a foster parent who claims she was the one slowing things down.

She claims the process was slow and she always left the door open for a change of heart. At the same time, when she is interviewed, she says she knows in her heart her ”son” won’t go back; ”He would never have fitted. He was never female”.

Next we meet Mel, a step mum, who explains her, and the child’s father, were the last to know about his son. They were concerned there may have been some collusion by the child’s mother and if her mental health issues played a role. The ”transition” also felt very rushed. 👇

Living in stealth.

The word stealth is derived from old English and the word ”steal”: “to carry off clandestinely without right or leave“

The next section covers the issue of lying about your sex. The author’s explain this is a personal choice, people have the right to conceal their sex, this is justified because ”trans” people face rejection and discrimination. It is worth pointing out that this is NOT merely a personal choice, it has societal ramifications. We tend to use the term discrimination only in negative contexts but being discriminating is also ”to choose wisely”. There are also some legitimate areas of discrimination, protected in law, such as the right to exclude males from single sex spaces. What the author’s are ignoring is the impact from the presence of stealth males, in female spaces. This is a violation of the boundaries of women and girls and shows a complete disregard for issues of consent. #MeToo anyone?

Here is Lisa talking about her child’s decision to withhold information from their classmates. None of the parents seem to even consider whether this is ethical. Lisa seems more concerned that she is not able to express her pride in having a ”transgender” kid in public. 👇

Kate says her ”son” will go stealth “if he can get away with it”. Quite apart from the betrayal of trust I cannot imagine the stress on the child, from fear of discovery. I would also point out that a female example provokes a very different reaction to a stealth male. I fear for a stealth female in male spaces. The opposite is true when this is a biological male using female spaces, in stealth mode. The consequences are vastly different when the sex is male and the spaces are female.

Below a parent tells the story of her stealth son; who would not let her tell the truth to his school. Her perspective is entirely from her son’s perspective. She wants him to be out, proud and accepted. No concern for the girls who think they are dealing with another female. The mum is, however, concerned that she may have betrayed her son by, covertly, asking advice from the school. Sounds as if the school tacitly agreed that this fraud could be perpetrated against their female pupils.

The above quote touches on another issue. How many of this generation began by performing their ”gender” in an on-line setting? I have seen more than one detransitioner talk about how cos-play in on-line environments cemented the idea life would be easier as the opposite sex. I covered a paper looking at therapeutic approaches to resolving gender dysphoria and the, female, client was using male avatars in on line interactions. She pointed out how much more respect she garnered as a “man”. One of the strategies deployed, in her therapy, was to find a strong female avatar and role play as her own sex. With that and other therapeutic work she desisted. You can read that case here:

Therapeutic Interventions to resolve Gender Dysphoria

I will finish this section with a quote from the Transgender Trend article, quoted above.

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