Parents of ”trans kids” Part 13

Family /Friends Conflict

This is a series on the parents of children the parents believe are “transgender”. The research was sponsored by, among others, Oxford University and on the steering group were representatives of Mermaids. You can find the series on healthtalk.org. You can find the rest of this series here:

Parents of ”trans kids”: Series 2

This post will cover two parts of the website that deal with family conflict.

Family and Friends reactions were covered here:

Family and Friends

and here:

Parental disagreement

Many parents report that family and friends have been supportive even though not all of them fully understand the situation. Some still worry that acceptance is only on the surface and people may react differently in private. One parent talks of using inheritance money to pay for private treatment. A few, like Lesley report mixed reactions and ”mis-gendering”

What is interesting is that Lesley’s daughter is on irreversible medications but she can still talk about her reaction as typical of a teenager who finds the grandparents very frustrating. This suggests she think her daughter still has a way to go before she is able to respond in a mature fashion.

Ross and Lisa are not on the same page as their ex partners. In Ross’s case the mother of his child does not agree with medical transition for her daughter. Lisa’s partner was a step-parent and his lack of acceptance led to the end of their relationship.

Lisa laid down the law in no uncertain terms for her partner. He clearly failed to comply with these demands.

More than one parent talks of how siblings were the first to get pronouns correct which they think is a good sign. I think it shows how indoctrination happens quickly. However this brother is clearly struggling to come to terms with his big sister’s ”transition” .

One parents talks about how siblings get sidelined as all the attention is focused on the special child. Here a young girl talks about feeling like an extra in her brother’s show:

Mel talks about her mother’s reaction which was to blame what was happening on the mental health of the biological mother of the step-child. Siblings are issued instructions not to speak negatively about the situation outside of the family. Another parent makes it clear the grandparents will be cut out of their lives if they do not go along with this.👇

After that ultimatum, unsurprisingly the grandparents have got on board the trans train:

Leigh, who is medically transitioning a foster child has lost contact with her sister and other foster carers. Foster children are statistically over-represented at Gender Clinics and Leigh, without a shred of self-awareness, has this to say about losing friends in the foster community:

Parental disagreement.

I cannot imagine being a mum watching your ex-husband encourage your daughter to medicalise the stress of puberty. She will know what puberty is like for a teenage girl. Ross will have no idea. The mum’s opposition managed to avert puberty blockers but her relationship with her daughter suffered. Georgina has red flags all over her in the way she is managing her daughter’s situation. The very next day, after her daughter ”came out” she changed her name and pronouns at school, and made an appointment with a doctor for referral to GIDS. She did all of this without even telling the Dad! Georgina is worried he may interfere to stop medical treatment: Here she is annoyed he wants to check parental consent forms.

Ross seems a bit over-invested in his role as parental favourite. His daughter’s relationship with her mum has been negatively impacted by her refusal to go along with her daughter’s self-harm.

One day we will see detransitioners emerge from these kids. I wonder how many parent relationships will survive once these kids realise what they have given up?

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