Men Trapped in Men’s Bodies

In preparation for sharing the testimony of males with autogynephilia, Dr Ann Lawrence first explains why AGP males can be unreliable narrators of their own lives. Lastly Lawrence explains why he thinks the narratives he collected were more reliable.

First erotic arousal, while cross-dressing will either be omitted or it will be minimised.

They may indulge in a wishful falsification of their own childhood. This may not even be conscious. It may be outright, conscious lying but it could also be misinterpreting insignificant childhood events which, repeated often enough, are deeply embedded and fervently believed. For those men who have undergone significant, bodily, modification there may be a psychological need to believe this was inevitable based on the conjuring up of childhood memories. I would also had that given the shame associated with autogynephilia locating the desire in childhood serves to remove the sexual component, that is the source of the shame.

Bancroft (1972) documented a change in testimony from one patient who changed their story mid therapy. First they claimed they were of recent origin and then he retconned his narrative to report an earlier onset of the feelings.

Clients seeking access to surgery were more likely to misrepresent. Lawrence is of the few that, whilst sometimes this was deliberate it was “more often unintentionally”. I am not going to suggest all these men are consciously lying but I will only observe that there are many inconsistencies in the narratives of the transsexuals I have covered. There may be, as Fisk observes, ”pat histories”. How many accounts claim to have discovered their ”gender identity” at unfeasibly early ages at odds with child development theory? Alterations can be subtle, post-hoc rationalisations, outright denials or repressing a personal history that doesn’t reflect well on the subject. Note we have known about this compulsion to lie for over 50 years.

The subject may need to convince themselves as well as others. They may be more comfortable with the idea they are a true ”transsexual” rather than just a man who indulges in transvestic fetishism. The former has been granted some legitimacy, thanks to the rush to legally recognise ”transsexuals” by legislators across Europe and North America. The various ”Gender Recognition Acts” have conferred legitimacy on this desire of men to present, as the woman they love, on a daily basis.

Here is a handy list of the most common lies which ”transsexuals” admit to lying about. Lying about sexual arousal while wearing women’s apparel; pretending they are not sexually attracted to women/are attracted to men; pretending to have preferred toys associated with girls, as a child and claiming to have identified with female characters as a child.

Transwidows

Spare a thought for the wives of these men because they are not just re-writing their own histories but also those of their wives and children. In these cases the self-deception tips over into gaslighting and even abuse.

How reliable are Lawrence’s subjects?

Given all we know about the deception why would Lawrence’s interviewees be any more reliable? First of all they know they are speaking to a fellow autogynephile. They also have anonymity. Lawrence has also screened the respondents and weeded out those who were suspected of submitting narratives that had been published in earlier books about ”transsexuals”.

Lawrence had this to add. The MTF “transsexuals” that deviate from a ”true-trans” classic narrative are supplying ”reluctant testimony” which adds credibility. Those that own their early masculinity, heterosexuality and sexual arousal while cross-dressing are more likely to be truth-tellers. There is less motivation to misreport these things.

In the next piece I will cover the testimonies provided to Lawrence. His motivations may not align with radical feminist perspectives but he has performed a great service in documented this phenomenon.

If you are able to support my work you can do so here. I am anticipating a large bill for some dental work. (Aargh).